Today was a busy day of driving around for work with nothing especially exciting. On top of that I spent a large part of my afternoon with anxiety. Not anything concerning but I felt uncomfortable.
I won't get into all of the details but after talking with a friend I think the anxiety stems from a combination of several factors and is heightened by my dieting.
You see, I'm a hedonic eater, an emotional eater. My brain thinks that I will feel better by bingeing on some shitty food when I'm feeling stressed, sad, or even very happy. And truth be told it often worked or at least it wad satisfying.
Today my emotional eating consisted of only two munchkins (doughnut holes). TWO. Hardly satisfying to my desire to self medicate with pastries. But it was satisfying to have been able to exert control over what went in my mouth.
But, alas, I still felt uncomfortable. Because I wanted to binge. Because I had feelings and eating is an easy way to fix them.
I chose control. And I am proud of that. But. Stomach butterflies/queasiness,amped up heart rate, and sweaty palms. Just uncomfortable.
And that's okay. Discomfort can mean growth, today it does.
But my happy moment is now. My husband took me out to dinner (our 6 month wedding anniversary is tomorrow, how has it been 1/2 a year already?) and now we are on the couch. Watching Arrow. I'm blogging then reading The Great Gatsby. Then watching Grey's Anatomy.
Stress free evening. I may even have a glass of wine.
This month I am participating in Every Day in May, a blogging challenge hosted by Jenni @ Story of My Life.
Happy 6 month anniversary! Sorry you have so much anxiety. My son went to see the movie The Great Gatsby, and he said he didn't understand the story. I have never read the book, now I want to know more about it.
ReplyDeletehttp://agutandabutt.blogspot.com/