5.15 day in the life

It is May 15th. I last blogged on May 10th. Failed at EVERY day in May. But 10 days was a good run and well, why waste those. I'm jumping back on the wagon and here's your super exciting look into my day:

7:30: Vince's alarm wakes me, he snoozes, we go back to sleep
8:00: Alarm goes off again, we should get up. Lazily get ourselves together for work.
9:45: Arrive at work, drive clients around and do things. Get Starbucks along the way, the (female) barista tells me my dress is the prettiest she's ever seen.
12:15: Lunch. AKA spend time in InDesign trying to figure out the program.
1:30: Back to work, more shuttling of clients, nothing exciting here today. Help a client prepare taco salad for dinner then off early, yay for short days!
5:00: Home. Back at InDesign. Opened all the windows because it's a sauna up in here. Watch some Revenge because I'm addicted.
6:30: Husband is home from work, we're eating leftovers. Spend some time loafing.
8:00: Back to InDesign. Decide to re-join Every Day in May. So here I am.

I'll probably watch at least one more episode of Revenge, loaf a little more, and then crash. Maybe on the couch. Don't judge me.

This month I am participating in Every Day in May, a blogging challenge hosted by Jenni @ Story of My Life. 

5.10 (on 5.11) most embarrassing moment

These are my witnesses to this tale.

To pick just one moment that I have made a fool of myself is very, very difficult. First, I am very clumsy, second, I have a faulty filter and say what I think 99% of the time. But alas, I will tell but one tale that is not totally mortifying but is quite funny.

In 2008 I moved to Michigan to and embarked not just upon Graduate Education, but also Hall Directorhood (it's my blog, I can make up words if I want to!). As part of this experience I joined team of a handful of other new grad students and we were thrown together in a week long training. We covered the basics but also were encouraged to get to know each other personally as Residence Life is a beast like none other and you have to work together very well and it is easier to function as a team when you trust the people you work with.

On about day two of knowing these fine new friends we were walking from lunch to one of the other HD's apartments to grab something. We all are looking classy, dressed up in our business professional clothes as we were to be meeting with some University officials that day.

Here's me, in a cute little dress and heels of the low variety. Walking along the sidewalk my heel strikes on the edge of the concrete and the tumble begins. I take a couple of faltering steps, everyone gasps and reaches out, relaxes as they think I catch my balance. A couple larger and even more faltering steps and everyone freezes in panic unable to help the inevitable. Finally I swan dive into the grass beneath a tree. All the while all I can think is "please, God, don't let this dress go over my head so they can see my butt, I'm only wearing a thong!"

No one knows what to do. They've known me for such a short time they do not yet know of my two left feet.

I roll over laugh. Dust myself off as everyone else finally laugh and help me up. One other HD notices not only did I scuff myself up a bit, but also I had broken my dang shoe.

So embarrassing. But, they learned a lot about me in that one dramatic fall to the ground. That I could and would get up when I'm down, usually laughing as I do it.

This month I am participating in Every Day in May, a blogging challenge hosted by Jenni @ Story of My Life. 

5.9 moment of my day (and my anxiety)

Today was a busy day of driving around for work with nothing especially exciting.  On top of that I spent a large part of my afternoon with anxiety. Not anything concerning but I felt uncomfortable.

I won't get into all of the details but after talking with a friend I think the anxiety stems from a combination of several factors and is heightened by my dieting.

You see, I'm a hedonic eater, an emotional eater. My brain thinks that I will feel better by bingeing on some shitty food when I'm feeling stressed, sad, or even very happy. And truth be told it often worked or at least it wad satisfying.

Today my emotional eating consisted of only two munchkins (doughnut holes). TWO. Hardly satisfying to my desire to self medicate with pastries. But it was satisfying to have been able to exert control over what went in my mouth.

But, alas, I still felt uncomfortable.  Because I wanted to binge. Because I had feelings and eating is an easy way to fix them.

I chose control. And I am proud of that. But. Stomach butterflies/queasiness,amped up heart rate, and sweaty palms. Just uncomfortable.

And that's okay.  Discomfort can mean growth, today it does.

But my happy moment is now. My husband took me out to dinner (our 6 month wedding anniversary is tomorrow, how has it been 1/2 a year already?) and now we are on the couch. Watching Arrow. I'm blogging then reading The Great Gatsby. Then watching Grey's Anatomy.

Stress free evening. I may even have a glass of wine.

This month I am participating in Every Day in May, a blogging challenge hosted by Jenni @ Story of My Life.

5.8 dear heather (advice)

As a trained counselor I know that it is best not to lend advice to others but rather ask open ended questions to allow the other person to come to their owb conclusion. 

Buuuuutttt. This is my blog, not your therapist's office.

Soy advice to you is to try a little bit of everything.  I love trying new things, specifically projects.  I like to try new books. I suggest trying things, but if you get bored with it, quit it.

Now, I do suggest this primarily for hobbies. But I did do this with majors in college, too. If you count my initial declaration of major I had 5 majors in 4 yeads of college.

I do not suggest this for jobs. Unless it is extremely boring (or bad for some other legit reason) I suggest sticking the position out and looking for what yoy can learn from. At least a year.

But for the fun stuff, dabble.

This month I am participating in Every Day in May, a blogging challenge hosted by Jenni @ Story of My Life.

5.7 what are you most afraid of

I almost forgot to post today! I'm one week in, there's no going back now!

Rather than one thing I'm most afraid of, because I am kind of tired and really this is just one of those topics I don't reallt like to focus on, I'm doing an expanded list.

Not acheiving what I want or worse yet what others, especially authorities, think I should. Actually authorities being mad at or disappointed in me in general terrifies me. Sometime I will write about getting pulled over and and not being able to get my ID out because I was shaking so hard. And then crying. For 20 minutes after he gave me a verbal warning.

Not being able to have babies. A diagnosis of polycystic ovary syndrome is becoming more common and is said to be easy enough to treat. But having a "condition" thaf could take a situation that is already so dar out of my hands even further is scary.

Losing a loved one. We get so comfortable in this life with the people we love surrounding us that the idea of losing one of those people from my life permannently scares the crap out of me. I have been blessed to grow up with a large extended family including both sets of grandparents and great-grands. Their mortality, and frankly mine, I am in denial about.

That's the majors folks. There are probably others. Like touching snakes. Or reading the fortune before eating the cookie but those are insignificant for this discussion! Night, ya'll!

This month I am participating in Every Day in May, a blogging challenge hosted by Jenni @ Story of My Life.

5.6 what do you do?

I do: work

Person-centered life.
Listening ears.
Helping hands.
Social integration. 
Behavior redirection.
Sharing fun.
Shared meals.
Paperwork.

I do: home

Dishes sometimes.
Laundry, usually.
Cleaning, occassionally.

We do life. Together. Imperfectly but happily.

Today I do this post from a pedicure chair. My lunch treat.

This month I am participating in Every Day in May, a blogging challenge hosted by Jenni @ Story of My Life.

5.5. Blog Adoration

My Google Reader (please don't go!) Is chock full of blogs. Most days I have 200+ new items but there are two or three blogs that as soon as they pop up I read them immediately.  Because I can't pick just one, I'm choosing three, Jenni said there were no rules in this challenge.

Also, I have never met any of the authors of these blogs but I sure would like to!

1. Aidan @ Ivy League Insecurities

Once, I commented on a post and she responded and I was so tickled pink it was a little embarrassing. Aidan writes about life, being a New Yorker,  motherhood, marriage, and whole lot of other wonderfulness. She keeps it real while also maintaining some privacy which I find impressive for a blogger. She also is a published author which I  think is pretty awesome. She has taken some time off recently but since she posts first thing in the morning most days she is often the first thing I read in the morning, and the fact that it is the first thing I put in my brain every day, whether it is something though provoking or just a snippet of life, I'm always glad I read it.

2. Rachel Held Evans

I stumbled upon Rachel's blog late last year when I was preparing to get married and having big questions abput what being a wife would mean and about my own faith and religion. Her posts are incredibly well researched, compassionate, and well-written. She has opened my mind to religion in a way that makes it okay for my to be critical and to ask why about things rather than the blind faith I thought was required to belong to organized religion. Check out her book, A Year of Biblical Womanhood, too it is a great read.

3. Young House Love (& Life)

John & Sherry are well known around the blogsphere because they do amazing house projects. They are very fun to read because they don't take themselves too seriously and feel like they could be your bff's so easily. There site is also incredibly well organized which makes finding projects from their archives easy peasy. I'm always wondering what project they will tackle next!

That's it! My top three blogs! Wouldn't it be amazing to someday be in someone else's top 3?

This month I am participating in Every Day in May, a blogging challenge hosted by Jenni @ Story of My Life.

5.4 favorite quote

As for many people quotes, or more simply, words, have a profound impact on our thoughts. When I was a hall director every agenda I made had a quote on it. Sometimes it was serious, sometimes silly, sometimes I sould ask a staff member to contribute a quote. We would usually discuss the quote and try to apply it to our jobs.

At some point during my graduate career I felt as though I would never find The One, never be able to get married and have a family (this is normal for a 23/24 year old right?), never catch all of these big crazy dreams I had. Depressing. And then somewhere on the internet I found a little gem.

"You must try to become the person you would like to spend the rest of your life with."

I'm attaching the image too, full of beautiful two word mantras. I made it my wallpaper on my laptop and work computer.  It made me think about what I wanted, what would make no one other than me happy. I luckily was able to find the image again after losing it to my computer dying. I have passed it on to countless people and now I am passing it along to you.

This is important not just for the single gals amoung us, but for all of us. I mean how mad would you be if The One suddenly became The Boring One after you got married? The One loves me for who I am now, who I will become, who we are together. But that is because I learned to love me, and to feed myself postive mantras. And to be interested in things outside of myself.

And I'm going to keep doing so. For him. And for me.

This month I am participating in Every Day in May, a blogging challenge hosted by Jenni @ Story of My Life.

Garage Sale Season

It's that time of year where you see hand drawn advertisements popping up with the dandelions.  I plan to stop at some in the coming weeks in search of some bargain goods to fix up for our home.

I'm cheap folks. We bought our furniture full price, well on sale according to Gardner White, and guess what...I want mismatched furniture now! Not this perfectly curated to match business. Not this oay for 18 months because its crazy overpriced business.

Unfortunately,  or maybe fortunately,  the furniture has held up well for the 3 years and move that we have had it. And actually I'm not even looking for living room furniture so I will step off that soapbox. What I'm looking for at the sales of the garage variety are:

1. Patio furniture. Nothing big, couple of chairs, small table or even just a side table to set my coffee mug on. Also prefer a paintable option.

2. Side tables. I stole pur living room side tables to use as bedside tables. Now we have a tv tray as a side table. Just need one, and want something different than the run of the mill.

3. Shelves. Storage shelves, nothing fancy. 

4. Book shelves for our office.

5. Knick nacky bullsh*t. I would like to find a tall skinny-ish vase that I could spray paint. Maybe one of those little wooden drink trays. And whatever else strikes my fancy.

Not so much to ask for, right? Happy hunting to my fellow garbage, I mean garage, salers!

PS I'm also not above curb finds, I stalk our neighborhood trash mornings. No shame in my game!

5.3 uncomfortable

Today we are talking about things that make you uncomfortable. My most obvious of those are masks. Though I feel I have gotten better about it, I hate mascots. There is something so creepy about not knowing who is inside that costume and not being able to see their eyes.

Once at an Oakland U basketball game the Grizz came strolling our way while a friend and I were sitting in the bleachers. Now most people get excited about having a photo taken with these emblems of team spirit. And this particular Grizz wearer knew me and thought he was being friendly and coming to give me such an opportunity. But he didn't know about my phobia. I couldn't escape quickly enough and as he moved closer I hunched down and eventually fell off my bleacher seat. I guess that made him figure it out because he broke the code and revealed who he was to calm me down.
Another time my staff had gotten permission to borrow the costums for a program and I needed to one of my RA's a question. Now, she knew about my issue, but she didn't expect me to be knocking on her door. She opened the door dressed only in the bobble head and I took off running and screamed. Not the reaction she was going for but we were able to laugh about it afterwards.

I could keep going with times I felt so uncomfortable I had to bolt, my grad school alma mater loves mascots much more than my undergrad as I only encountered our pastor dressed as santa claus there in four years and saw the Grizz almost weekly at OU. But I will leave you with life's great irony.

My husband, bless him, is a nerd. He loves comic books, goes weekly to the comic book store to pick up the latest installment. He also loves Comic-Con. And he loves to build costumes. Including masks. Now of course I'm not freaked out by his costume. But you can bet that I will not be joining him at the convention,  even though he begs every time!

This month I will be participating in the Every Day in May blogging challenge hosted by Jenni @ Story of My Life.

5.2: an education (take FREAKING THREE)

I'm not meant to educate anyone today. Twice I have tried to type an interesting and witty post. I tried to say I'm more a generalist than specialist, sampling all kinds of interests and hobbies, quitting them on a whim when I lose interest. 

Then, TWICE my phones autocorrect deleted all but one, fractured sentence each time. TWICE. So. I'm teaching you all to not rely on your phone being smarter than your brain, even if you are merely a generalist (Miranda Bailey is a generalist and she is a pretty amazing, although entirely fictional, woman ya know!). Autocorrect not only can lead to incredibly awkward texts referencing your best friends nipples sent to the very wrong person, it has happened, but also to extreme frustration by deleting an entire blog post. TWICE.

Better luck to me tomorrow.

This month I am participating in Every Day in May, a blogging challenge posed by Jenni at Story of My Life.

Me (in 250 words or less)

My story. My autobiography.  Growing up in small town Iowa I wanted to be a writer. I went to two young writers conferences, afterwards I was told authors make no money. Later on I wanted to teach. Then be a social worker. All of these are professions that were visible to me through the lens of a small town worldview and also one where money wasn't my primary goal. I moved from that small town to a larger one for college. I studied psychology, pre-law, teaching, and back to psychology.  (The pre-law sounded good and would've lined my pockets more but man were those classes boring!) I moved even further away, to a suburb of a big, broken city. I got a masters degree and got married. Now more than ever I want to reach into my heart for my work, even if that means pinching pennies to make the finanacial goals that we have planned. We. This is new, a fresh young marriage, full of incredible happiness as well as some tension as we learn what it means to build our forever together. Life: by trial & error. That is what I am doing. What we, together, are doing. What other way is there to do this? And so I write these words, here in this place where I make no money for it, and no matter how long it had been between posts, it is always rewarding. 

238 WORDS.

This month I am participating in Every Day in May, a blogging challenge posed by Jenni at Story of My Life.