The Slow Down

I have learned that there comes a time where inevitably we must slow down. We have to back away from over-commitment, stop multi-tasking, turn off the cell phone. Life moves fast and you suddenly are unable to maintain the pace with the 6-minute milers and join the pack of 10- or 11- or maybe even 20-minute milers. 

I have reached that point and it is because I am 9 months pregnant. But as I watch my fourth rerun episode of Grey's today, I realized that maybe I should have started the slow down sooner. Maybe we all need to slow down. Sure I am not the first to say that our world is spinning off it's axis at the rate that we try to live our lives. But maybe, just maybe, this can be a reminder to slow down. Not just when life becomes unbearable, but before. 

Let's slow down to enjoy both the good times and the bad times. To touch close to our hearts and reflect on what is really important to us. To see what makes our hearts pound a little faster while our minds slow down to focus on just that. Find our passions, seek out opportunities to grown them or develop new ones. To get back in line with our personal values.

The last several months have flown by at warp speed, but there are several moments during them where life has allowed me to pause and fully etch the memories deep into my heart and soul. I am sure that over the coming months I will need to remind myself to stop and appreciate that it will only be a few short months of my life that I will ever have the privilege of introducing a new human to the world--even if that means that sleep is a figment of my imagination and I have become a human vending machine. 

Life is moving quickly, and it is up to me, and you to choose to slow down rather than being forced to. And I am happy to have this wonderful man striding right beside me through life, no matter what pace I am currently working in. And especially when I need help getting up off the couch or reaching my feet :)

Here's to new life adventures, to being so excited about this new little life to get here, and to strength in patience as I learn to live, more now than ever before, on the schedule of a potentially very stubborn tiny human.  

You Know You Are Pregnant When....

You wardrobe has become a well oiled machine or two types of pants, both with panels that go to your ever growing breasts, a handful of shirts, and stretchy dresses that require no thought in the morning routine.

Your feet swell each afternoon large enough for your husband to question if feet can get stretch marks too.

You upgraded to a king sized bed because your husband is sick of sleeping on the remaining four inches of mattress after you, your large belly, and even larger pregnancy pillow are all comfortably situated.

All you think about is baby related and your google searches take a turn for the very strange and very random. Example: Is it normal for hair to grow longer on stomach when pregnant? Or: Best method for cleaning poop out of cloth diapers. And those are pretty PG.

You start hearing things like " wow! You've really popped!" and are not offended because you actually love your baby bump and appreciate that your body can perform this miracle all by itself.

You hear strange facts that stick with you. And have to tell everyone you talk to for the exit 48 hours. Did you knows that he placenta is the only organ the body creates and then sheds?

You try to eat healthy foods, after all, baby eats what you eat. But then a McDouble screams your name. Or that bag of chocolate frosted donuts. Or extra large slurpee. And then back to veggies and smoothies.

You officially turn into your mother. With well-thought out plans to do some things differently, but then when pregnancy gets weird you call her because hers is the only advice you want to hear.

Today I am 32 weeks into this baby making business. I am truly loving it and cannot wait to meet this little one that I will be responsible for keeping alive. Luckily, Vince will share that responsibility! Here's to two months of reading about child birth, organizing all of he baby stuff we have received, and continuous spurts of nesting that have me in cleaning fits but area so nice because our apartment has never been cleaner!

24 Weeks

Dear Little One,

As I sit here in my car in the soft rain, having just devoured a delicious grilled PB&J (you have me craving peanut butter like crazy lately) I am thinking about last night.
Your Daddy and I toured the hospital where you will be born in just 16 short weeks. 4 months Little One. As we walked down the lavender hallways of the hospital a smile spread across my face and I couldn't wait until we are there for real. Until we get to find out if you are our baby boy or baby girl. Until we get to see if you have your Daddy's dimples or my nose. Until we get to cuddle you and soothe you when you cry.
I know that those first hours and weeks and months will be tiring, you'll be brand new to this world so of course you'll need time to adjust. But I. Can't. Wait.
And neither can your Dad. You have been kicking like crazy in my tummy but have been stingy in letting others feel your strength. After some squirms and one big high five you now stop moving all together if Daddy puts his hand on my belly. Last night he said he wants to invent a belt that he and I could each wear. Mine would have a sensor that picks up your little kicks and punches and then it would send those signals over to his so that he could "feel" your kicks too. Now he may change his mind later when your little arms and legs get stronger and start to hurt rather than just tickle. But for now he can't wait until he can experience more of your pregnancy than fetching slurpee and reeses pieces at 10 pm or listening to me grunt as I roll my now very round but soon to be rounder belly over at night.
We are so excited to meet you Little One. So excited to have a real name for you. To be able to know what pronoun to use and stop feeling guilty for calling you It. But you stay nice and tight in there and keep growing nice and strong and we will see you in July, sweet thing.  We will be ready and waiting :)

Love,

Mommy

Life Lately

I have recently neglected this blog here, though this has not been my intention. I very much want to come here and continue to spew off my thoughts on this crazy live I am living. Lately though, I've been hard a work and blogging in another place.

Because I started a business. Heather Todero Events.

This has been a month chock full of trial and error. And lots and lots of learning. SEO. Didn't even really know what that meant until a few weeks ago. Creating a website? Other than this blogger account and myspace years ago I hadn't really customized anything. Now I've built one from scratch weebly.

The thing that strikes me as so amazing during this process it the willingness of others, friends, family, strangers, to reach out to show their support to me. Incredible, really.

I feel busy, like really busy again. But it is in the best of busy ways. That exciting, pulse racing, busy. Adrenaline filled hours spent researching and networking and stepping outside of any boxes labeled "comfort" because that's what life is about isn't it?

We can't just live in this comfortable little bubble of a life--what fun would that be? Day in day out the same? Not for me, not in this one life that I get to live.

I am growing. And that, my friends, is a beautiful thing.

I'll be back here again, don't worry. But I am working my hardest to post two blogs a week over on HT Events' blog so you can find me there too.

And today, it is rainy and lovely. And I'm baking and reading and digesting on this Monday off of work.

Enjoy!

How Marrying an Extrovert Made Me Realize I'm Not One

I can't be sure if it is my age or the fact that I'm smack dab in the middle of my first year of marriage but lately I've been having lots of "Aha moments" as Oprah would call them. From being better (albeit far from perfect) at keeping a tidy(er) house to feeling more confident in me and my mind and my body to just generally having an "I've got this" feeling about life. Light bulbs seem to be coming on left and right (too bad they don't bring our electric bill down hehe).

Growing up in Residence Life I came to love personality tests, getting a Masters in Counseling I came to understand them even better. However, I either answered the questions thinking about who I wanted to be or I just fell a little more into the extroverted side of the spectrum and that is the label I wore proudly. After all, I was a student leader, I wanted to be seen as a competent supervisor--and I was.  But the label always felt wrong. Like it just didn't fit right.

I graduated. Moved in with Vince. Married him.  And that boy is an Extrovert.  He is the life of the party and he loves to party. Of course does, extroverts thrive on that kind of thing. And for the most part I can jive with that.

I like being center of attention--sometimes.

I like parties--but often talk to a small group or individuals most of the night.

I love public speaking and get a serious charge from it.

I sometimes love my days off where I have the apartment all to myself for 10 hours and I don't even leave it at all that day--that replenishes my soul.

Vince gets antsy when we just hang out here on a weekend. He wants to be out and about, social, doing something, anything. And that made me think about me being an extrovert but maybe just a little "e" extrovert compared to his big "E" extrovert.

And then I watched Susan Cain's TEDtalk on the Power of Introverts and heard the term AMBIVERT. An ambivert is a person who comfortably embodies characteristics of both extroverts AND introverts.

Ding! Ding! Ding!

It all makes sense now that sometimes I want to stand in front of a crowd collecting gold stars and other times the very thought of it makes my skin crawl. That strangers tell me their deepest secrets and I feel comfortable listening and helping them process their messy stuff and sometimes, ok with friends always, I'm okay with my own overshares, but other times I lock it down in a vault to process.

I'm an ambivert.  And good news, ambiverts are pretty powerful. And beneficial in sales....missed calling? Are you an ambivert, take this quiz to find out where you lie on the scale. 

Have you taken the MBTI or another personality assessment?  Did it fit like a glove or like your pants fresh out of the hot dryer? Does having only a dichotomy of options to fit a person seem too restricting?

Productive Day

Today I have been having one of those rare "get on that already" spurts. I put together this terrarium in container I found at Chic Antiques.

I taped over the black electrical tape on pur wedding sign. It was needed to blend in for our ceremony but stuck out terribly on our creamy walls. White blends in much better.

I bought this oval mirror at an estate sale probably over a year ago. I loved the oval shape (seriously, I'm an oval addict. Help!) and the gold detailing, but it was in bad shape. The gold part was practically detached from the main frame. It had dust in all of its crevices. And the mirror was in serious damage of detaching itself and thus shattering all over the place. Rough shape I tell ya! I cleaned her up, reattached the gold detailing, shoved so,e tough little glass holders into place while only slightly butchering my pointer finger in the process. And cherry on top of it all: I hung the pretty little thang up to show her off!

Our map fell off the wall, command strips used to be so reliable but not of late. So his new home is resting on top of our bookcase. Which I cleared off the top off and arranged some details on it. 

I also moved around my gallery wall a bit. But can't get one frame back together... How is that possible? The backing just won't go back in and I got frustrated so it is currently sitting on the table awaiting Vince's handiness to fix it. So I'm off to do dishes and vacuum. Who wants to come organize my closets? They need a come to Jesus moment--STAT!

Gotta love random Tuesdays off of work! 

Questions Laced With Opinions

I've always heard that as soon as you get married people will start asking you about babies. And truth be told people feel entitled to lots of information about you from the point of becoming engaged. So this is nothing new. But what I've really realized is that no matter what your response to these deeply personal questions, the other person undoubtedly has an opinion on said response.

And this can be hard. I remember my cousin, when she had her first baby, becoming so upset because she was overwhelmed by all of the "advice" being thrown her way. I say "advice" because its damn hard to just let things like that to roll off your back because of course you want to do it the RIGHT way, its your child! How do you filter the helpful out of the panoply of bullshit personal anecdotes? (Still not sure how you've done it Kassie, good work!)

While we aren't pregnant yet, there are many people that have strong feelings either way about a life change that effects exactly 3 people personally. Me, Vince and future baby Todero. And to be honest when people tell me that you must do A, B, C and have X, Y, and Z together pre-baby I just want to say, "EFF off. It is oddly not your life that this impacts. I got this."

Alas, I don't. Because that's as rude as the others. And my momtaught me to always be nice to everyone; even, or maybe especially,  the jerkwads.

Now I'm not sure how even got on that little soapbox. I really was coming here to talk about houses. And how everyone has an opinion about houses, not the state of my uterus.

By everyone I mean me. I am biased. I was fortunate enough to grow up in beautiful houses (thanks Mom  Dad!) and I vividly remember the look in friends eyes change when the came into our house and saw how nice it was.

It was like I Moved up a rung on the silly middle school social ladder because my my parents worked their tails off to afford a nice roof over our heads and my mom has a killer ability to make houses look great. But I liked that feeling.

And now, we are married. And we are renters. And when we moved into this apartment we got a lot of "oh you aren't buying...That's cool."

Um, did you know houses are expensive. And you have to have thousands of dollars saved to really do yourself justice in buying.  We just aren't there yet. And I'm more than okay with that. 

I fear becoming house poor. I look at homes o  Trulia and yes the are beautiful and a lot have mortgage payments equal or less than our rent payment. And I'm afraid to tell people that I don't want a BIG, impressive home that instantly people will bump me up their cool ladders because we own what they think is a status symbol.

I want a small house. One that I can clean top to bottom in 2 hours. Even more I want a house that we live in all of the spaces, not just some if them. And guess what future hypothetical children, I want you to share a room. Because in life it is so important to learn how to really live with someone. 

So there. I said it. I'm gonna have babies when we are ready and when we buy a house, you probably won't be wowed by a picturesque 4 bed, 3 bath and 18 living room home. I want to learn to make a beautiful home with less.

Comfy, cozy. Modest but beautiful; another lesson I'd like hypothetical daughters to learn. 

What questions do you feel people ask you with their opinion in mind before you respond? How do you make sure you follow your heart rather than Person X's advice? Do you live large in a small space? If so I'd love to hear about it!