Me (in 250 words or less)

My story. My autobiography.  Growing up in small town Iowa I wanted to be a writer. I went to two young writers conferences, afterwards I was told authors make no money. Later on I wanted to teach. Then be a social worker. All of these are professions that were visible to me through the lens of a small town worldview and also one where money wasn't my primary goal. I moved from that small town to a larger one for college. I studied psychology, pre-law, teaching, and back to psychology.  (The pre-law sounded good and would've lined my pockets more but man were those classes boring!) I moved even further away, to a suburb of a big, broken city. I got a masters degree and got married. Now more than ever I want to reach into my heart for my work, even if that means pinching pennies to make the finanacial goals that we have planned. We. This is new, a fresh young marriage, full of incredible happiness as well as some tension as we learn what it means to build our forever together. Life: by trial & error. That is what I am doing. What we, together, are doing. What other way is there to do this? And so I write these words, here in this place where I make no money for it, and no matter how long it had been between posts, it is always rewarding. 

238 WORDS.

This month I am participating in Every Day in May, a blogging challenge posed by Jenni at Story of My Life.

People are Inherently Good

This post has been brewing in my brain for weeks, before Boston and before someone sent poisoned letters to politicians, yes. But we have been here before: 9/11, Newtown, Columbine. Terrible things happen in this country and all over the world that boggle my brain to the point that it feels like I'm playing Perfection (remember that game?) and someone has fiddled with the timer and I only have two short seconds to try to make all of the pieces fit.

They don't fit. We all ask why and I honestly believe that we will never know. Life isn't an episode of Criminal Minds or Law & Order. It can't be wrapped up in a pretty television 45 minute story line. I wish with my whole heart that it could.

With all of the terrifying things we see and hear it often amazes me how some people can have such strong faith in God. I have often been a skeptic because there are just too many things that seem to lead me away from religion but lately more than ever I have realized that while I don't agree with the politics of religion, I do have faith.  Faith in humanity and faith in their being an element of life beyond our control.

The last two days I spent at the Michigan Chapter of the National Children's Alliance annual conference in Traverse City. I was able to attend sessions with world renowned speakers. To say it was an excellent experience is putting it lightly. Many moments throughout the presentations inspired me, but yesterday a presenter said something that sunk deep into my soul.

Olga Trujillo had a TRAUMATIC childhood (join me in reading her book "The Sum of my Parts") but has done tremendous healing. She vocalized that she still gets nervous telling certain parts of her story and a major one is that she was angry with God.

Her realization in recovery is what spoke to me. I am sure this is not a direct quote because I couldn't write quick enough but she said something like:

"I began to understand free will...God is not a person who makes bad things happen to people. People have free will and do bad things. God brought good people into my life to help with the bad."

Powerful.  This woman was able to find the good in others when terrible things were happening to her in her home. After both Newtown and Boston I saw the Mr. Rogers quote about looking for the helpers during a crisis passed frequently around the internet.

But what I've realized in the past few weeks is that if you really want to see the good in humanity, you have to look for the helpers all day every day. For the man who sees you struggling with you grocery bags and without hesitation helps you to your car. To the Starbucks barista who, even though it is an incredibly early hour, serves you with a genuine smile and "have a great day, hun!" We need to stop looking for the bad in others and being fearful of it but search for that good. It is not hard to see when you are open to it. And it might just start to restore your faith.

From My Kitchen: Spaghetti Squash "Lasagna" Bake

Over the weekend my husband graciously baked up our first ever spaghetti squash. Holy smokes is it delicious! (In case you don't know how to bake a spaghetti squash, check out this link here!)  The first day we ate just one half of the fake spaghetti with some good old 4 cheese red sauce. We then wrapped up the other half for later.

This morning as I was cleaning our shower I was thinking about ricotta cheese. I had some left from the best frosting I've ever made (will post that recipe soon too!) and although I could just eat it from the container I figured I should probably go the grown-up route and make something presentable for lunch. That's when I remembered the squash. And lasagna. And spinach. And I just started measuring everything out and making a mini squash lasagna! And it was sooo good, and filling. And may just make it again tomorrow!

Spaghetti Squash "Lasagna" Bake

1 1/2-2 cups leftover spaghetti squash
1/2 cup spaghetti sauce of your choice
2 tablespoons chopped onion
1 cup baby spinach
2 teaspoons EVOO
1/4 cup lowfat ricotta cheese
2 tablespoons shredded parmesan cheese

Preheat oven to 350º. Shred spaghetti squash to make your fake noodles, foodles if you will. In a small frying pan add oil and sauté onions. Once they start browning add spinach and cook it down. You can add some spices if you like (salt and pepper and anything that smells good) while they are cooking.

In a large ramekin add a layer of spaghetti squash followed by half the sauce then your spinach and onions. Add another layer of squash then your ricotta cheese. Add the rest of your sauce and sprinkle the parmesan cheese on top.

Bake for 15 minutes or until sauce is bubbling. Remove from oven and allow to rest for 5 mintes or so.

This recipe is only 6 points for all of its cheesy, saucey goodness! And now I'm in love with spaghetti squash...in the wrong season. 

If you make it and tweak the recipe let me know, I would love to make another yummy spaghetti squash recipe!

Nesting

Disclaimer: No I'm not preggo so don't get your hopes up Mom!

A week ago we got the keys to our new aparment. Yesterday we turned in our keys to 609. And had one final last dinner at Rainbow Chinese (we ate there three times in the last week, it is seriously the best chinese food and we will go back) which we will dearly miss the three minute walk there and that they know Vince by name and his exact order.

There are so many memories in 609 and painting over our palladium blue and leapfrog green walls was incredibly bittersweet.  It is crazy how four walls can house so many memories and become so familiar over two years.

Our first Valentine's day there we had no furniture.  Vince made a table and chairs from cardboard boxes. He bought candle sticks but no holders so he made one from cardboard and hot glue.  Steak dinner on cardboard furniture tastes better than Fleming's Steakhouse.

On March 31st, 2012 after several hours of joke proposals Vince popped the question right there in the middle of our living room. I called my dad from our patio and received excited congratulatory phone calls from friends and family on our couch.

We became a family there. Not just a couple who were dating but creating a deep love and trust for each other.

We had fights. I was messy. He didn't put the toilet seat down.

We made up.

It feels like a chapter of our life has ended and we are just starting to write the next one. Here in 3B.

But first I must deal with this. Build and organize this nest of ours. And I'm excited to do so!

On Moving

You know that point in the moving process where you'd rather wrap your head in several layers of packaging tape than build another box and fill it with all of your worldly possessions? I am so there.

My kitchen is 75%
My bathroom is 95%
My bedroom is 80%
My living room/dining room is 60% and that is only because there is less little things in them.

I'm so glad we live in 850 sqft and not some crazy big place. Oh wait,  if we did I probably would just hire people to come wrap my delicates in bubble wrap.

BUT I am super excited to move into a glorious 1100sqft 2 bedroom beauty. To be able to grill again--just in time for good weather to do it in. And Vince os excited to have a room to hang his Star Wars posters up in! Go us!

But really, if your bored, come pack a box!

Cleaning it up for Lent

Last night I had dinner with a great friend I met in grad school. Over flat bread pizza, mojitos, and a giant Fat Tuesday warm cookie we talked about life, love, and many of the details that those two encompass.

I left feeling entirely satisfied. Thays sounds odd but honestly I don't make enough time for just me and my girlfriends to sit and reallu talk. This is why we need girls nights. As women we constantly analyze everything and being able to share those with another person who isn't your spouse but who just gets it is truly a wonderful part pf life.

Ok that was a detour from my orignal post topic but is a is an important preface because last night she asked me if I was giving up something for Lent. I hadn't given moich thought to it before then but having thought about it both on my drive home last night and into work this morning I have decided.

For the next six weeks I will be eating vegetarian lunches.

Why? Because I eat crap for lunch. My days generally have my lunch periods at odd hours and often they are short. That meand that far too often I resort to fast food-overprocessed-junkonabun for a quick bite. And you know what, thats not acceptable.

My body and my health are important.  So for forty days I will focus on plant based lunches. Superfoods. Antioxidants.

That's about how long it takes to make a habit stick. Let's see how it goes. I jist had a delicious fresh salad from The Big Salad. Day One is a success.

Gender, Relationships, and Roles

Lately (read since before our wedding) I have been devouring information about gender and relationships and the roles that we all play when interacting with each other. Turna out there are some amazing writers out there, both women and men, secular and religious that have filled my brain with so much internal debate it had been spectacular.
After spending a solid 3 hours this morning pouring through article upon article and reading infuriating comments and several "yes, that's it!" ones I took a shower--because it was noon, and I needed to. While rinsing my hair I had a revelation: I have read so much, even passed along articles to friends, maybe I should join the virtual conversation.  And so, here I am. I will be sure the good, the bad, and (in my opinion) the ugly of what is going on out there here. Because it matters. And I will also be throwing in my two cents, even it's after everyone else who comes up with these brilliant articles writes theirs!

So have read anything good on gender/relationships/roles lately?