Happier

Can I first acknowledge my failures. I posted nine pretty little posts of the 31 that I was supposed to for Every Day in May. FAIL. I was in such denial about this that I did not even read any of Jenni's posts after I bailed on it, I just let them build up in my reader and then on June 1st "marked all as read" because facing them was hurting my ego. Oh well. I tried, I got almost 1/3 of the way in.

But really, I just got busy with life, and my anxiety had increased as I had mentioned in this post, so I stopped. No shame in that. Those anxiety times are exciting times. I gained yet another sister (one of the best things of marriage is the ever growing family). And she made the most gorgeous bride ever. Check out this picture that my very talented sister(in-law, but who's counting?), Michelle, took of Arianna. Stunning, right?

So with the wedding being busy, family being in town, trying to maintain the carefully cultivated mess that is our apartment while also still working our normal full-time 9-5 (psh, I wish I worked regular hours)--life got crazy.

In any case, I feel rested and happier after some actual "weekend" days on Monday and Tuesday this week. And after yesterday's Big Idea I have spent my morning off today sipping on some Earl Grey and reading to my hearts content about things to fill in my Big Idea with several smaller ideas.

And though my idea yesterday isn't really based on the big "H" word Happy, that's what I've been reading about today. First I was reading a little about The Third Metric conference hosted by Arianna Huffington yesterday, which you should check out because there is some good stuff there, then I went back to one of my favorite bloggers Aidan at Ivy League Insecurities and dug through some of her archives on being happier, not Happy. Seriously, check out this post, You Are Not Happy, and this one, I Will Be Happier in Twelve Weeks. She's great, and she makes me think. And I like that.

In fact, I miss THINKING. "Oh, Heather doesn't think anymore," that's what you're thinking now. No, of course I think. But since I am not in school anymore, I don't have that constant intellectual challenge unless I seek it out myself.

And that makes me wonder: at this age, this post-grad school-we are all in new jobs-slowly spreading across this county-taking on new roles-being adults life that my friends and I live in now how do we make sure that we continue to grow? How do we make sure that we are enriching our minds and our knowledge base? 

And even more, how do we stay connected? How do we grow our connections?

And through it all, are we living our lives to be happier?

Sitting at the bar waiting to pick up the tab for a clients date I had the opportunity to people watch in one of my favorite locations: an upscale restaurant. The people here vary greatly but tonight and it is entertaining to imagine that they eat here regularly even though a drink and an appetizer tallies up a $30 bill. They must lead such glamour lives :)

Tonight there was one group in particular of about 8 business professionals at happy hour. All were dressed in nice suits, drinking the expensive wine or craft beers, and jovially interacting with one another.

Of the group, only one was female. And of the group, the only one who could be loudly heard using the "f-word" to make her points was said female.

It felt forced. Each time I heard it cross her lips it made me cringe.

Now, don't get me wrong. With the sailors I can sing some pretty dirty songs myself. But something about it came off so incredibly crass.

To the outsider peeking into her world I felt as though she was role playing the part of the young business executive we see on television shows. You know, the male one. The one who is trying to impress his buddies by the number of "ladies" he can bed. That was the part SHE was trying to fill.

Now, I could be wrong. I could be. However, I am rarely wrong. Just kidding! The real however is that there were 7 other men in this group. What they needed wasn't a woman pretending to be one of the guys. They needed her to be her. Why else should they have hired her at their office?

We as women pride ourselves at being adaptable and spreading ourselves thin. Acting like one of the guys doesn't need to be one if the areas that we stretch ourselves in. We can be strong, powerful professionals. Believe me I believe in that 200%. And we can let the perfect little lady charade down and cut loose.

But we don't need to impress others, let alone, our coworkers with outlandish stories filled to the brim with profanity.

We should feel at liberty to be us. Our true us, especially in a social setting. This is the time to show them how much we can accomplish and how incredible we are.

Or at the very least if you have to swear, do it quietly so the whole bar can't hear.