How Marrying an Extrovert Made Me Realize I'm Not One

I can't be sure if it is my age or the fact that I'm smack dab in the middle of my first year of marriage but lately I've been having lots of "Aha moments" as Oprah would call them. From being better (albeit far from perfect) at keeping a tidy(er) house to feeling more confident in me and my mind and my body to just generally having an "I've got this" feeling about life. Light bulbs seem to be coming on left and right (too bad they don't bring our electric bill down hehe).

Growing up in Residence Life I came to love personality tests, getting a Masters in Counseling I came to understand them even better. However, I either answered the questions thinking about who I wanted to be or I just fell a little more into the extroverted side of the spectrum and that is the label I wore proudly. After all, I was a student leader, I wanted to be seen as a competent supervisor--and I was.  But the label always felt wrong. Like it just didn't fit right.

I graduated. Moved in with Vince. Married him.  And that boy is an Extrovert.  He is the life of the party and he loves to party. Of course does, extroverts thrive on that kind of thing. And for the most part I can jive with that.

I like being center of attention--sometimes.

I like parties--but often talk to a small group or individuals most of the night.

I love public speaking and get a serious charge from it.

I sometimes love my days off where I have the apartment all to myself for 10 hours and I don't even leave it at all that day--that replenishes my soul.

Vince gets antsy when we just hang out here on a weekend. He wants to be out and about, social, doing something, anything. And that made me think about me being an extrovert but maybe just a little "e" extrovert compared to his big "E" extrovert.

And then I watched Susan Cain's TEDtalk on the Power of Introverts and heard the term AMBIVERT. An ambivert is a person who comfortably embodies characteristics of both extroverts AND introverts.

Ding! Ding! Ding!

It all makes sense now that sometimes I want to stand in front of a crowd collecting gold stars and other times the very thought of it makes my skin crawl. That strangers tell me their deepest secrets and I feel comfortable listening and helping them process their messy stuff and sometimes, ok with friends always, I'm okay with my own overshares, but other times I lock it down in a vault to process.

I'm an ambivert.  And good news, ambiverts are pretty powerful. And beneficial in sales....missed calling? Are you an ambivert, take this quiz to find out where you lie on the scale. 

Have you taken the MBTI or another personality assessment?  Did it fit like a glove or like your pants fresh out of the hot dryer? Does having only a dichotomy of options to fit a person seem too restricting?