Questions Laced With Opinions

I've always heard that as soon as you get married people will start asking you about babies. And truth be told people feel entitled to lots of information about you from the point of becoming engaged. So this is nothing new. But what I've really realized is that no matter what your response to these deeply personal questions, the other person undoubtedly has an opinion on said response.

And this can be hard. I remember my cousin, when she had her first baby, becoming so upset because she was overwhelmed by all of the "advice" being thrown her way. I say "advice" because its damn hard to just let things like that to roll off your back because of course you want to do it the RIGHT way, its your child! How do you filter the helpful out of the panoply of bullshit personal anecdotes? (Still not sure how you've done it Kassie, good work!)

While we aren't pregnant yet, there are many people that have strong feelings either way about a life change that effects exactly 3 people personally. Me, Vince and future baby Todero. And to be honest when people tell me that you must do A, B, C and have X, Y, and Z together pre-baby I just want to say, "EFF off. It is oddly not your life that this impacts. I got this."

Alas, I don't. Because that's as rude as the others. And my momtaught me to always be nice to everyone; even, or maybe especially,  the jerkwads.

Now I'm not sure how even got on that little soapbox. I really was coming here to talk about houses. And how everyone has an opinion about houses, not the state of my uterus.

By everyone I mean me. I am biased. I was fortunate enough to grow up in beautiful houses (thanks Mom  Dad!) and I vividly remember the look in friends eyes change when the came into our house and saw how nice it was.

It was like I Moved up a rung on the silly middle school social ladder because my my parents worked their tails off to afford a nice roof over our heads and my mom has a killer ability to make houses look great. But I liked that feeling.

And now, we are married. And we are renters. And when we moved into this apartment we got a lot of "oh you aren't buying...That's cool."

Um, did you know houses are expensive. And you have to have thousands of dollars saved to really do yourself justice in buying.  We just aren't there yet. And I'm more than okay with that. 

I fear becoming house poor. I look at homes o  Trulia and yes the are beautiful and a lot have mortgage payments equal or less than our rent payment. And I'm afraid to tell people that I don't want a BIG, impressive home that instantly people will bump me up their cool ladders because we own what they think is a status symbol.

I want a small house. One that I can clean top to bottom in 2 hours. Even more I want a house that we live in all of the spaces, not just some if them. And guess what future hypothetical children, I want you to share a room. Because in life it is so important to learn how to really live with someone. 

So there. I said it. I'm gonna have babies when we are ready and when we buy a house, you probably won't be wowed by a picturesque 4 bed, 3 bath and 18 living room home. I want to learn to make a beautiful home with less.

Comfy, cozy. Modest but beautiful; another lesson I'd like hypothetical daughters to learn. 

What questions do you feel people ask you with their opinion in mind before you respond? How do you make sure you follow your heart rather than Person X's advice? Do you live large in a small space? If so I'd love to hear about it!