#31shadesofred #lipstickchallenge

Good morning!! First, please ignore my virtual dust, I'm in the process of revamping my little chunk of the internet and right now it is pretty plain, boring, and ugly!
Second, along with the revamping I'm doing, I am also working to delevop more regular content here! First on my list is a little festive December challenge for the ladies :)
Last weekend our friends hosted a Mad Men themed party and after googling some images (I don't watch
!) I decided that I must wear lipstick! And so did all the other hot ladies there.
My love affair with lipstick hasn't always been so pretty, there was a tense work meeting that left me with unintentional barbie pink lips, and many a tube thrown out for bad color selection. But, I'm taking it back. Lipstick and I are BFF's this month and I think you should play along too!
All you have to do is wear liptick every day in December and snap a selfie to post on instagram or Twitter or Facebook. Don't forget the hashtags #31shadesofred and #lipstickchallenge so we can group.them easily.
That's it: lipstick and pictures each day in December. Or don't do everyday. Who needs rules? Actually I thrive on rules, so you decide of you do or don't. Play around with color. Buy a cute little compact mirror and carry it around so you can do touch-ups. (I am headed to Target after I finish my panera to get one!)
Also I'm brainstorming some additional posts like lipstick diary interviews to see how you feel about wearing lipstick, a how-to with a make up pro, and of course some inspiration so check back here to see how it goes!
Here's todays pre-challenge pic..I need to improve my self-portrait abilities too!

My cup runneth over

Today marks day number two of working as a married woman. I get to make Thanksgiving dinner for my coworkers and clients and while at first it seemed overwhelming I recognize it as a privilege.

I really can't even begin to express how incredibly blessed I have felt since getting engaged really, but especially since the Wednesday before our wedding. Family and friends travels hundreds of miles, just to witness our wedding and that meant the world to me, and Vince too. Walking into the theater I was quite literally overcome with emotions, searching last the faces if those dear to us to see Vince's at the end if the aisle.

I am thankful. Grateful. Overwhelmed with the love and support we have been shown in the last few months. Thank you.

And now I have an early thanksgiving with work family to spend an extra day reflecting in all that we have to be thankful for.

Sitting at the bar waiting to pick up the tab for a clients date I had the opportunity to people watch in one of my favorite locations: an upscale restaurant. The people here vary greatly but tonight and it is entertaining to imagine that they eat here regularly even though a drink and an appetizer tallies up a $30 bill. They must lead such glamour lives :)

Tonight there was one group in particular of about 8 business professionals at happy hour. All were dressed in nice suits, drinking the expensive wine or craft beers, and jovially interacting with one another.

Of the group, only one was female. And of the group, the only one who could be loudly heard using the "f-word" to make her points was said female.

It felt forced. Each time I heard it cross her lips it made me cringe.

Now, don't get me wrong. With the sailors I can sing some pretty dirty songs myself. But something about it came off so incredibly crass.

To the outsider peeking into her world I felt as though she was role playing the part of the young business executive we see on television shows. You know, the male one. The one who is trying to impress his buddies by the number of "ladies" he can bed. That was the part SHE was trying to fill.

Now, I could be wrong. I could be. However, I am rarely wrong. Just kidding! The real however is that there were 7 other men in this group. What they needed wasn't a woman pretending to be one of the guys. They needed her to be her. Why else should they have hired her at their office?

We as women pride ourselves at being adaptable and spreading ourselves thin. Acting like one of the guys doesn't need to be one if the areas that we stretch ourselves in. We can be strong, powerful professionals. Believe me I believe in that 200%. And we can let the perfect little lady charade down and cut loose.

But we don't need to impress others, let alone, our coworkers with outlandish stories filled to the brim with profanity.

We should feel at liberty to be us. Our true us, especially in a social setting. This is the time to show them how much we can accomplish and how incredible we are.

Or at the very least if you have to swear, do it quietly so the whole bar can't hear.

So easy a caveman could do it!

Today marks the first day of our new diet: The Paleo Diet.

I took a client out for breakfast and the best I could do was scrambled eggs and ham with a water to drink.

Not what I wanted to order. And his cinnamon French toast smelt damn good.

Alas, my food was tasty. And I am full. And it did not contain dairy or carbs.

I want to...

Be one of the awesome bloggers that I read. I am constantly inspired by what I read on a daily basis and some integrates into my life but a lot leaves me feeling that there is something more that I need to do. Something I'm not yet reaching.

My status as a soon-to-be Mrs has made my head spin and my heart settle. I feel so confident in my relationship and it grounds me in ways I never knew possible. It is from this base that I want to grow.

I want to be the best partner for Vince because he deserves it. Just like I do. And I want us to push ourselves. And right now I give the excuse that I'm busy, and I truly am, but I know that I always will be.

And the women (and a few men too) that pour their hearts onto the pages of the world wide web are busy too. Busier than me I am sure. They have and continue to push themselves and to push those that read their words. I feel it in me that I could be a person that gets that fire burning in the belly of someone else. And right now, I an not doing that. Mostly I want to act on the fire that I feel, be passionate about my work. I used to be, and now I just kind of do my job. I get a pass until December. December and the new year, you will see my flames.

Wedding Sounds

One of the more challenging wedding planning tasks for us has been choosing music. You see, Vince and I like some of the same music, but largely what we individually like the other dislikes. And the shared likes don't always make great wedding music. And we both want good sounding and feeling music and I care too much if some of the lyrics are off. Needless to say, we have a few more songs to settle upon. Both of us live the song below, and while it was a contender for our first dance for a long time, ultimately there's some lyrics that just make me twitch. But its beautiful, and this cover is incredible. And Vince's talented siblings will sing/play their cover of this cover during our ceremony. So here's our ceremony sounds sneak peek:
Watch "Make You Feel My Love - Bob Dylan (Dan & Kari Ballesteros)" on YouTube

Comparison

Growing up my family was always competitive. My sister and I always seemed to pit ourselves against each other. We compared, we wanted things even but in life things aren't even. And we were competitive. Watch out at a Feist game of Scrabble, we take that very seriously!

Since we now live across the country from one another I have a better perspective on this. What I didn't realize until recently is that I've replaced this comparison to my sister to my peers. Let me tell you a little story about me...

Vince and I met and started dating in April 2010. We quickly fell in love, however, V at first was apprehensive of titles and commitments but I stuck it out because I felt strongly that he'd come around (which he did) eventually. But what I may not have shared outside of a few people is how incredibly jealous I was when others, including V's younger brother, got engaged and married when we weren't. I was comparing US to THEM (not just the sibs, friends and complete strangers too!)

Fast forward to a few months before we got engaged, I was already reading the, albeit beautiful, garbage in the blogosphere about weddings. I created this glorified image of what our someday wedding would look like. I also dreamt of our married life, so don't think I'm totally shallow on everything, please.

I have had to let go.

Of the way I envisioned things before, but beautiful things have come from that. But lately. Lately I will be honest, I'm comparing again. I look at others' marriages that are wonderful and beautiful and something from the outside that I can never, ever, appreciate as much as they do. Much like they won't be able to for ours.
But here's the catch. I feel judged. We live together and aren't yet married and family members have made it very clear that they disapprove. But I don't. Vince doesn't. This may seem obvious because WE decided to live our lives this way, but I love to please authority and making decisions against it make me self-conscious.

It makes me compare.

Am I not going to be as good of a wife because of this? Is that what they think? It makes me spend hours researching being a wife who submits to her husband even though the whole time everything inside me is screaming THAT'S NOT US. It's just a bible reading, and there's a ton in there that I do not believe should be followed to the letter but as a guide to life.

It's not me. It's not what I believe. It's not what feels right and happy and joyful in this time of wedding planning. It's like wearing too tight jeans, they button and I can fit myself into them, but oh, man, are they uncomfortable. And I don't want people to tell me I'm wrong because I think about it plenty on my own. I'm thorough. Trust me I am. Don't make me where the tight pants.

So please don't judge. Don't assume that you know what is right for me, and my marriage and I will try not to compare my life to yours. Try. Try. With regular reminders to myself, of course.