The Nightmare is in the Details.

Details. Planning a wedding in todays society requires the completion of so many of them its not even funny. You'd think getting them all done, keeping them all straight, and not forgetting to remember to do them would be a real life nightmare. And you'd be right about that usually, but I've been quite organized in this process and so far it hasn't been bad.

Or so I thought until I started having wedding nightmares. Luckily in all of them we have still ended up married at the end (except a couple that I wake early from) so at least I know its not our actual marriage my subconcious is freaking out about. Oh no its not, its downright stressing about all of the details. I feel disorganized and as my sister described how she thinks I'll be on A-day, frantically bossy. The fun.y thing is I truly so not picture myself that way in my waking hours.

I will have a well informed bridal party and family members. I have timelines and spreadsheets in the works. Those who have offered their help on the day off, I am taking them up in it, and I'm a trusting person and these friends are super trustworthy. I'm not worries or stressed about the details now.

So why are my dreams worried?

Random Tidbits

Today I spent an hour and a half in JoAnn Fabric, bought a bolt if gorgeous charcoal fabric and a bunch of berry branches.

Vince spray painted our table number frames a slightly less mac 'n' cheese shade of yellow, its called Marigold. Here's to hoping in a room with dim lighting they will look mustard yellow.

I really want to go see a symphony orchestra. Like bad. Always wish I would have learned cello in school.

I also really want and need a pedicure. Hate that summer shoes make my heels look archaic.

I bought a few small gifts two weeks ago. Well, one just last week. Note to self: send them already!

I really have the most amazing man ever. He cooks, he cleans, and he loves to dance. What more could I ask for, oh that I get to marry him? See ya soon November 10th!

26 has been a wonderful year. 27 seems to be already creeping up on me but not in a bad way, I'm ready for it and actually excited for it.

Kaitlyn (my seester) should really nice to Michigan already. I know its nowhere near on her list, but gosh, I think she would love royal oak it ferndale and I would love to have her here to go to JoAnn Fabric with for 1.5 hrs. 

MargaRITA

How would to like to go to a rehearsal dinner at an awesome Mexican restaurant? Yea, I thought you would too! Cause I would. And its in our budget so that makes me want to dance. Which I did, after a "monster margarita" and listening to the mariachi band for a while. I mean check out this marg! And they band played the marcarena. Yup. Can't wait!

Driving Dreams

I drive a lot. To and from work takes about 45minutes. And then there's driving clients all about the metro area, sometimes they chat, sometimes they sleep. When they are silent or when I'm alone I have the best driving dream sessions.

No, I'm not really sleeping, just daydreaming. Or I'm working out thoughts and plans and hopes but mostly dreams.

Wedding dreams.
House dreams.
Baby dreams.
Professional dreams.

I'm at the threshold of a really exciting time in my life and there's really nothing better than imagining different ways that it may play out.

What are you dreaming of lately?

Traditions

As I have been on this wedding planning journey there have been many traditions that I have turned my nose up to and thus have decided not to incorporate into our wedding day. People may or may not agree with me on this but here's a prime example of why I am choosing not to blindly follow tradition.

The Garter Toss

I personally find it a bit creepy that the groom gets to out his (oftentimes) head up the brides skirt in public. Not for me, I would be a blushing bride, no doubt about it.

My parents may have done a garter toss, I'm not really sure. But my mom did get her garter back if she did have it taken and thrown to a male guest of theirs. And that's where you find out about a family tradition.

It may have just started with my mom and grandma, I'd have to ask of goes back further. In any case, ky mom wore her mothers garter as well as a new one of her own.

And now on November 10, 2012, I will wear both my mom's garter and my own that my sister is personally making for me.

And that's a tradition I can keep going with my hopefully future daughters that undoubtedly will find my dress out of style or that it doesn't fit them. But a garter is hidden and personal and a little bit of HERstory that can be shared through the generations.

Relearning

I'm relearning how to eat. No, it is not a diet. Yes, I hope to loose weight. But even more than learning how to eat I'm learning to listen. To question my reason for what I'm consuming. I'm eating to fuel my body NOT to satisfy bored, anxiety, or sadness that my mind wants me to. It's not easy to admit that I'm an emotional eater. Not easy to accept it. But it is what it is. I care about me. I need to care about my physical AND mental well being. That's what I'm learning to do.
Get the book Women Food and God by Geneen Roth. Read it with an open mind. Personally mine copy is rife with notes in the margins. I'm learning. Even if I forget to ask ky body before I start to eat that bad food, if I catch myself in the middle, maybe next time I'll catch myself in the beginning. Learnings a process and I'm taking the baby steps.
PS thank you Jess of Makeunder My Life for recommending this book!

Indecision

Lately I have gone back and forth and back and forth again on how I want to decorate our wedding. Our package at our reception hall includes basic, non-floral centerpieces. I'm all for candle light but originally thought I needed flowers. I also thought I needed floor length linens. I'm not over them completely, but they won't make me happier that day so I don't need them.

The bigger issue is all the inspiration online is RECTANGULAR tables not ROUND tables. Well at least the pretty modern blogerific tablescapes. Martha has some pretty ones. Mainly I want our reception to be unique and I'm a bit regretful disappointed in doing a regular ol' banquet hall and not some unique venue. HELP.

Our ceremony is unique. A theater. Also difficult to conceptualize decorations.

Also wishing my mom was here to go to JoAnn's and Hobby Lobby with to play around with ideas....

I'm indecisive about decor and I don't like it.

I did decide to enter project phase beginning with painting my Ikea frames aka table numbers as well as a dumpster-dived mirror that will be our seating chart. I just asked Vince if I should steer towards charcoal grey instead of mustard as planned. More indecision...perhaps tomorrow I'll feel more sure.